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It’s Christmas time … in case you haven’t noticed.  It seems that lights went up early this year.  Christmas trees are all decorated.  And everyone is bustling around buying their loved ones those special trinkets.

It seems we are all just a bit desperate for the hope that comes with Christmas right now.

Even though it is Christmas time, most will agree that this year has been a tough one.  Many people have lost a lot in 2020.  Many have lost their jobs, lost their homes, or lost their businesses…often needlessly.

Unfortunately, others have lost things that just can’t be replaced.  Some have lost relationships, parents, children.  And still other people, like me, are reminded at this time of the year of what we have lost in the past.  Christmas time brings another round of grief that we have to work through, whether we want to or not.  Usually, we have no desire to revisit our losses or any of those painful things in our past.  I certainly don’t. However, I have found that if I don’t deal with the pain head-on, it sneaks up on me.  I find myself extra sensitive, moody, even disliking the holidays.

So what do you do?

Almost two decades ago I miscarried our son Caleb at six months.  The next year I miscarried another child.  The following year I found out I had cancer.  And, almost one decade ago, our family lost our grandson, Lincoln, to SIDS.  All of these events took place around Thanksgiving and Christmas. I came to dread this time of year.  Really dread it!  It got so I simply wanted to just skip over it and jump into the new year. Why did I have to go through this “thing” every year any ole way?

I still cry.

Every year around Thanksgiving I would get super moody, on edge, and depressed. I didn’t know why, but I was miserable to be around. Finally realizing what was happening, I started taking time to acknowledge my loss.  I get alone with God to pray…and cry.  Yes, I still cry…every year.  This is something I need to do.

Seek God

When we hurt, why do we tend to run away from God instead of to Him?  Instead of moving closer to Him, we become angry and distant.  I don’t know, maybe you never get mad at God.  But I sure do.  I’m not saying that I have the right to get angry.  I don’t.  But I’d be lying if I said otherwise.  And it would be ridiculous of me to think that God doesn’t know when I’m angry.

Not only does He know my emotional state better than I do, God is big enough to handle my anger. Furthermore, He loves me enough to help me deal with it.  But I have to be willing to go to Him, spend time with Him, be honest before Him.  I have to give the God of Christmas time to heal my heart.

Cruise control?

No matter the season of the year, storms will come into our lives.  When we experience a severe weather storm, do you click the cruise control on in your car while driving?  I certainly don’t!   In the same way, when we are going through storms in our life, we shouldn’t expect our spiritual life to work on cruise control.  It is time to hunker down and spend that extra time with the One who can heal our hearts.

If you are hurting, He is waiting on you.  Remember, He is not the One who has moved away from you.

Psalm 34:18

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Accept His healing!

Psalm 147:3 tells us “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”  Let’s remember that Jesus came to heal us…from our sins, from our hurts, from our grief, and often from ourselves.

The very reason we celebrate Christmas is because God sent His Son to the earth to save us. 

Isaiah 9:6  

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting  Father, Prince of Peace.

Jesus is the Wonderful Counselor, the Prince of Peace.  He came to bind up our wounds.
However, we have to accept His healing.

Easier to stay mad!

Sometimes it’s easier to just go on being angry and hurt.  We may actually be comfortable with the pain.  Or maybe we are just scared of the healing process. 

Don’t be afraid.  Let me tell you, it is so worth it though.  Accept what God is doing in your life.  You can trust Him!

Romans 8:28

“And we know that all things work together for good for those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Remember what He has already given you.

I have found that when I am struggling, it is good for me to remember all that God has given me and everything He has already done.  When I start with the mess I was in when I came to Christ and think through how He has taken care of me, I know I will be okay.  Yes, I may be hurting.  Life can be so hard. But God is not going to leave me there.  Nor will He leave you.

What is your focus?

Why do we always concentrate on the things we don’t have and on what we have lost instead of what we have been given?    I’m not diminishing your pain or what you may have lost. If you have had five healthy children that doesn’t mean your loss is any less if you lose a child. Trust me, it is not.  If you have one parent living it still hurts if you have lost the other.  Your hurt is legitimate.

So please don’t hear me saying that it is not.

What I am saying is that when things are really hard it helps us to remember the things that God has given us.  It helps to remember the things that God has already done for us.  When we do, we will know with certainty that even though our heart is broken now, the God of all creation will bring healing.  We know that we will get through it.

Down to our knees

I know that there are things in our lives that absolutely bring us to our knees.  We think we will never make it through them.  If, however, we can keep our eyes on our Father who loves us so much that He sent His Son to us, we can make it.  Take your pain to Him and crawl up into His lap.  He is there.  He is the Healer. He is the only One who can put us back together.

Then, we can enjoy the blessings of the season.  Not forgetting what we have lost, but accepting it.  Take time to grieve your loss. It’s right to do that. But don’t stay there. Look up!

As you go through Christmas time, I hope that you will take time to reflect on Who God is and what He has done and will continue to do for you.    

After all, there would be no Christmas to celebrate without Him!